I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
