Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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