the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
