i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
