the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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