i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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