I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
