We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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