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I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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