Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
