Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
