Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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