You were right. It hurts to walk today.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
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