can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
