rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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