I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to fling myself into the sun
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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