I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're a waste of cheezeits
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
