You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
