thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
