I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
