God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
