they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
