i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
