Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
