is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
