My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
