My cat gives me a boner
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
