maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
