So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
