gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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