I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
