My brain says no but my pants say off.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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