I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
