It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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