You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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