my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
