The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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