If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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