Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
