what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
