I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
