My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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