Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
false alarm, still single
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
