I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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