I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
