He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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