well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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