Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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