just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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