His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
